So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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