how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
