I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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