id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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