I don't usually arrange sex via text message
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
