i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
