I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
