I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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