we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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