if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
