he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
