I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think people are normalizing furries
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
