he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
