yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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