Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
