Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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