She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You need Xanax blowdarts
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
