Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize