So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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