I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
