So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We need a shit load of segways right now
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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