Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
