Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
