lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
