I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
