so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
