i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
