dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
