Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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