So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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