he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
