As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
