Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
