Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize