At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
