I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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