Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
