If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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