He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
