i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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