He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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