Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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