I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
