Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
