Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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