Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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