I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sober January is a disaster.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
