a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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