Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
