So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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