It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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