If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
