I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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