Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
