Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
