one two three fourrrrnication!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
