Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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