I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
