Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I bet he comes in French.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
