I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
worst night to have a conscience
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize