NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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