She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
