so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
