I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
