Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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