Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There's even glitter on my cock...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
