well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
