Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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