real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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