I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im holly from the hills drunk
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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