did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
