I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We left the knife in your bed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
