Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
