addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
