We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
