You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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