Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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