How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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