VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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