my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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