I wish my penis had an off switch
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
